Why Men Are Staying Single?

Listen, I’m going to tell you something that will probably piss off half the internet, but someone needs to say it.

You know what I see when I look around? Men – successful men, good-looking men, intelligent men – sitting alone for years, not months, years. And before you start typing your angry comment, let me ask you something: When was the last time you saw a genuinely happy couple under 35? I mean genuinely happy, not Instagram happy. Take your time. I’ll wait.

You can’t remember, can you? And there’s a reason for that. We’ve created a world where being alone has become the rational choice for most men. Not the desired choice – the rational one. It’s like choosing to walk instead of getting into a car that has a 70% chance of crashing. You understand what I’m saying? The math just doesn’t work anymore.

Let me paint you a picture. Imagine you’re at a casino and there’s this special table. To sit down, you need to bet your entire life savings, your emotional stability, half your future earnings, and your mental health. The dealer tells you that historically, 70% of players lose everything. The 30% who win? Half of them say the prize wasn’t worth it.

Would you sit at that table? Of course not. But that’s exactly what modern relationships have become for men. And then we wonder why they’re choosing to stay home.

I had this conversation with my cousin last week. He’s 34, makes good money, works out, dresses well – the whole package. He tells me: “I haven’t been on a date in 3 years.” 3 years. I ask him why. You know what he says?

“Every time I open those dating apps, I feel like I’m applying for a job I’m not qualified for. CEO position requires: minimum height 6’2″, salary in the top 5%, must own property in three countries, speak four languages, have the humor of a comedian, the body of an athlete, and the emotional availability of a therapist. Previous experience as a mind reader preferred.”

And here’s the thing that nobody wants to admit: Women have priced themselves out of the market. It’s like watching someone list their 1995 Honda Civic for the price of a Ferrari because they installed new seat covers. Yes, they’ve confused their value with their demands. And when nobody’s buying, instead of adjusting the price, they blame the customers for being cheap.

I remember being 22, meeting this girl at a coffee shop. She worked retail, lived with three roommates, had maybe $200 in her bank account. But her dating requirements? The man needed his own house, a luxury car, regular vacations abroad, and enough free time to entertain her constantly.

I asked her: “What do you bring to match all that?” She looked at me like I asked her to solve quantum physics. “I’m the prize,” she said. The prize for what? Participating?

And this wasn’t some isolated incident. This is the mentality I see everywhere now. Women who can’t cook demanding personal chefs. Women who don’t exercise demanding athletes. Women with massive debt demanding millionaires.

The delusion is so widespread, it’s become normalized. You know what happens when you set up a game where only one side can win? People stop playing. It’s that simple.

Men aren’t stupid. We can do cost-benefit analysis. We see our friends getting divorced, losing their kids, paying alimony to women who despise them. We see good men being mocked online for not being “good enough”. We see the videos – you know which ones – where women laugh about using men for free dinners, calling it “foodie calls”. They have WhatsApp groups where they share strategies on how to extract maximum resources with minimum investment.

And then these same women wonder: “Where all the good men went?” They went home. They’re playing video games, working on their careers, hanging with their boys. At least there, effort equals reward.

But let me tell you the real poison in all of this. It’s not just the unrealistic standards. It’s the complete devaluation of what men actually offer.

A man today can work 60 hours a week, pay all the bills, fix everything that breaks, be emotionally supportive, remember every anniversary, plan romantic dates. And what does he hear? “That’s the bare minimum.” The bare minimum.

My grandfather supported a family of five on one salary. And my grandmother treated him like a king for it. She would iron his shirts with pride, cook his favorite meals, respect his decisions. Now? You need to be a millionaire to get a thank you. And even then, it comes with conditions.

Here’s an exercise I want you to try: Open any social media platform and search for “men are trash”. Count the posts. Millions. Now, search for “women are trash”. See the difference? One is celebrated with likes, shares, and “yas queen” comments. The other is banned, deleted, called misogyny.

We’ve normalized the complete disrespect of an entire gender – and then act surprised when that gender opts out of participating. It’s like spitting in someone’s face daily and then wondering why they don’t want to have lunch with you.

I coached this guy recently: 28 years old, software developer, good kid, shy but genuine, makes $80,000 a year – solid money for his age. He tells me about his last date: He picked her up, paid for dinner at a nice restaurant she chose, tried to have a conversation.

She spent the entire time on her phone – posting stories about the food, tagging the restaurant, never once tagging him or even acknowledging he existed – like he was just the Uber driver who happened to pay.

At the end? “This was boring.” And leaves. Doesn’t even say thank you. He spent $150 to be someone’s content creation assistant.

You understand why men are giving up?

But wait, it gets better. The same girl posts on her Instagram the next day: “Men don’t know how to date anymore. Where have all the romantic men gone?” The cognitive dissonance is extraordinary. She turned a date into a social media photo shoot, contributed nothing to the conversation, showed zero interest, and then blamed him for it being boring.

This is what we’re dealing with.

The housing thing? Let me address that – because it’s crucial. You know what’s insane? A woman living in a shared apartment with five people, sleeping on a mattress on the floor, eating instant noodles for dinner – will reject a man because he doesn’t own property. It’s like someone who can’t swim demanding to date only Olympic swimmers. The delusion is astronomical.

In major cities, maybe 5% of men under 35 own property. So 95% of men are automatically disqualified. And then women complain about not finding anyone. The math doesn’t math, as they say.

I knew this girl. Let’s call her Anna. For 5 years, she rejected every man who approached her: Not tall enough, not rich enough, not exciting enough. She had a spreadsheet. I’m not joking. A literal Excel spreadsheet with requirements:

• Height: minimum 6 ft.
• Salary: minimum $100,000
• Must have traveled to at least 10 countries
• Must have a graduate degree
• Must drive a car that costs at least $40,000

She was a receptionist making $30,000 a year.

Now she’s 35, panicking, lowering her standards daily – like a clearance sale. Yesterday’s must-haves become today’s nice-to-haves, become tomorrow’s optional.

But here’s the thing: The men she wants? They’re dating 25-year-olds who didn’t spend a decade treating men like disposable items. Time is undefeated. Father Time remains unbeaten.

And let’s talk about this “independent woman” narrative that’s been sold to everyone. You want to know what’s funny? The most independent women I know – truly independent, successful, self-sufficient – they don’t broadcast it. They don’t need to announce it every 5 minutes on social media. They don’t have “independent woman” in their bio.

But these women working entry-level jobs, living paycheck to paycheck, borrowing money for weekend parties? They’re the ones screaming about not needing a man. It’s like someone who can’t afford a car saying they prefer walking. We all know it’s cope. Deep down, they know it too. The biological clock is real, whether we admit it or not.

I see it all the time in my consultations:

• Women at 22: “I don’t need anyone. I’m focusing on myself. Men are distractions.”
• Women at 28: “I’m ready for something serious, but only if he meets my 47-point checklist and passes the compatibility test I found on Cosmopolitan.”
• Women at 33: “Where did all the good men go? Why is everyone taken?”
• Women at 38: “I’ll date anyone with a pulse who texts back and doesn’t live with his mother.”

It’s a predictable pattern – like watching the same movie over and over.

The tragedy? They could have had a good man at 25, but they were too busy “finding themselves” – which usually meant getting drunk every weekend and calling it self-care.

But men have caught on to this pattern. Why should a successful 35-year-old man date a 35-year-old woman with baggage, attitude, declining fertility, and a body count higher than a basketball score – when he can date a 25-year-old who’s actually happy to be with him?

This is not misogyny. It’s market dynamics. You can hate it all you want, write angry blog posts, call it unfair – but that won’t change it. Reality doesn’t care about your feelings.

Social media has destroyed women’s perception of reality completely. Every woman thinks she deserves a top 1% man because she matched with one on Tinder once. (He was probably married, using her for entertainment while his wife was asleep – but she doesn’t know that.) She thinks that’s her level. It’s like winning $20 on a slot machine and thinking you’re a professional gambler. The algorithm shows you what you want to see, not what’s actually available.

You want to know the saddest part? Most men aren’t asking for much. You know what the average guy wants?

• Someone pleasant to be around
• Doesn’t start drama every week
• Loyal – meaning she doesn’t have one foot out the door constantly
• Takes care of herself reasonably well – meaning she doesn’t gain 50 lbs after the wedding
• Actually likes him – not just what he can provide

That’s it. Not a supermodel, not a virgin, not a traditional housewife – just a decent human being who reciprocates effort.

But somehow that’s too much to ask for. Instead, we get women who see relationships as business transactions – where they’re the CEO and you’re an unpaid intern hoping for a permanent position that never comes.

The shaming tactics have also backfired spectacularly:

• Call a man an incel for having standards? He’ll just shrug and go back to his hobbies.
• Shame him for not approaching women? “Thanks for saving me the rejection and the potential harassment charge.”
• Tell him he’s not a real man for not wanting to date? He’ll laugh and count the money he’s saving.

The shame doesn’t work anymore – because men have realized being alone isn’t the worst outcome. Being with someone who doesn’t value you is being with someone who sees you as a walking ATM. Is being with someone who constantly compares you to her ex or to men she sees on Instagram.

I remember this moment 5 years ago that changed my whole perspective. I was at a wedding – big fancy affair, probably cost $100,000. The groom’s face during the ceremony? You should have seen it. It wasn’t joy. It was resignation – like a prisoner of war signing a confession.

His bride spent the entire reception complaining: Flowers wrong shade of pink, cake too sweet, DJ played the wrong version of their song. Never once did I see her look at him with love. Never once did she thank him.

6 months later? Divorced. She kept the ring, the gifts, the honeymoon photos for Instagram. He kept the debt and the depression.

And you wonder why men are scared of commitment? We’re not scared of commitment. We’re scared of committing to the wrong person who will destroy our lives and walk away with prizes.

Here’s what women don’t understand about male loneliness: It’s not painful for most men anymore. You know why? Because we’re problem solvers by nature.

• Lonely? Get a dog. Infinitely more loyal than modern women.
• Need intimacy? Well, there are solutions for that too – and they don’t talk back or demand your credit card.
• Need emotional support? Male friendships are stronger than ever – because we’ve realized we can’t depend on women for it.
• Need purpose? Career, hobbies, goals, building something that won’t leave you for your best friend.

Men have adapted to loneliness like humans adapted to cold climates. We built tools and moved on. We’ve turned loneliness from a bug into a feature.

Meanwhile, I see women in their 30s and 40s having complete mental breakdowns because they’re alone: Posting wine memes (thinking alcoholism is quirky), cat photos with captions about “being a cat mom”, self-love quotes that fool nobody – including themselves.

They bought the lie that they could have it all whenever they wanted it. Nobody told them men would simply stop showing up to the audition. Nobody told them their window of opportunity was limited. They thought they could party through their 20s, build a career through their 30s, and then pick a husband off the shelf like a handbag when they were ready.

Surprise! The store is closed.

The dating apps have made it catastrophically worse. It’s given average women the illusion of infinite choice. She matches with 500 men in a week. Feels like Cleopatra. What she doesn’t realize? Those men swiped right on everyone without even looking. It’s a numbers game for men. She’s not special. She’s just present.

But that validation becomes addictive. Why settle for one man when hundreds are messaging you? Except those hundreds don’t want her either. They want sex, maybe – but not her. Not a relationship, not commitment, not love. Just a quick release and goodbye.

I tell young men now: Forget the apps entirely. It’s a rigged game. Would you play poker if the dealer got to see your cards, but you couldn’t see theirs? That’s what dating apps are for average men. You’re competing against men who don’t exist: Photoshop abs, rented cars, borrowed watches, fake vacation photos.

And even if you win? What did you win? A woman who thinks she’s settling for you. A woman who will always wonder if she could have done better. That’s not a prize. That’s a prison sentence.

The traditional paths to meeting someone are also completely destroyed:

It’s like making every door a fire exit with alarms – and then wondering why nobody comes inside.

Let me tell you about investment – something men understand intrinsically well. When you invest in something, you expect returns proportional to risk.

• Stock market? Might lose your money – but might make you rich. Fair. Reasonable.
• Modern relationships? High risk, guaranteed negative returns. Like investing in a company that promises to take your money, give you nothing, blame you for not investing more, and then take half of everything else you own when they decide to leave.

No rational person would make that investment.

And the double standards? My god, they’re everywhere:

The game is rigged. The rules only apply to one side.

The psychology behind this is fascinating and terrifying. Women have been told they’re perfect just as they are. “No improvement needed ever. You’re a queen. You deserve the world. Never settle.”

Men have been told they’re defective and need constant improvement. “Work on yourself. Be better. You’re not enough.”

So you have one gender that thinks they deserve everything without effort – and another gender exhausted from effort that yields nothing. What did we think would happen? This is basic cause and effect.

I saw this study recently – legitimate research, not some Reddit post. It showed women rate 80% of men as below average in attractiveness.

Think about that. How can 80% be below average? That’s mathematically impossible. But it shows the delusion level we’re dealing with. The average woman thinks the average man is beneath her.

And then we wonder why nobody’s happy. Why relationships fail. Why marriage rates are at historical lows.

The men who are successful with women today? You know what they have in common? They don’t care about women’s opinions. They’ve internalized that female validation is worthless. They treat women like children having tantrums – amusing but not serious. And ironically, this indifference attracts women more than any amount of genuine care ever could. What a sick joke.

The men who would make good partners are invisible. The men who treat women poorly are in high demand.

But here’s the thing about consequences: They don’t care about your feelings or your excuses. Women in their 40s are learning this now – painfully. All those men they rejected in their 20s? Married to younger women or happily single with money in the bank. That attitude they had? Nobody finds it cute anymore. The demands they made? Nobody’s trying to meet them.

The market has spoken clearly: “No thank you.” And now they’re angry at men for not wanting them – as if men owe them attention after decades of disrespect.

The solution? There isn’t one. Not really. This is the bed we’ve made collectively as a society. Women won’t lower their standards until it’s too late. And by then, men won’t care. Men won’t participate in a game they can’t win. And why should they?

The birth rate will keep falling off a cliff. Loneliness will keep rising like floodwaters. And in 20 years, we’ll look back at today as the good old days – when at least some people still tried.

You want my advice?

For men: Focus entirely on yourself. Build your wealth, health, and happiness. If a woman adds value to your life? Great. If not? You’ve lost nothing and saved everything.

For women: Ask yourself if your standards are based on reality or Instagram fantasy. But honestly, most won’t listen. They never do – until it’s too late. And then they blame men for their own choices.

This will continue until the pain becomes unbearable for everyone. Until women realize that having standards is fine – but having delusional standards is self-sabotage. Until men realize that some women are worth the effort – just not most. Until society admits that maybe the old ways weren’t all oppression and patriarchy. Maybe some of it actually worked. Maybe our grandparents knew something we don’t.

Let me tell you another story that perfectly illustrates this madness. Last month, I’m at a bar with some friends. There’s this group of women next to us – probably late 20s, early 30s. They’re loud. We can hear everything.

One of them is complaining that she can’t find a decent man. Her friends agreeing: “Men are trash. They don’t commit. They’re all players.”

Then one of them opens Tinder to show the others. She has literally thousands of matches. Thousands. She’s swiping left on everyone:

• Too short
• Too ugly
• Looks poor
• Probably boring
• Definitely has a small dick. Ew. Why would he think he has a chance?

These are actual quotes. I’m not making this up. Then she complains again about being single. The cognitive dissonance could power a small city.

You know what I’ve noticed? The women who complain the most about male inadequacy are usually the ones bringing the least to the table. It’s projection at its finest.

They’re working minimum wage but want a CEO. Can’t cook but want a chef. Out of shape but want an athlete. Have mental health issues but want a therapist boyfriend. Bring drama but want peace. Bring debt but want wealth. Bring baggage but want a fresh start.

And when you point this out? “You’re a misogynist who can’t handle strong women.” No, I can handle strong women fine. What I can’t handle is delusional women who think watching Netflix is a personality trait.

The worst part? How this affects younger men. I get messages from 18, 19-year-old guys who are already giving up. They haven’t even started – and they’re already defeated. They see what’s happening. They see the impossibility of it all – and they’re choosing to not even try.

Can you blame them? When you see your older brother, cousin, father get destroyed in divorce court. When you see good men treated like ATMs. When you see the disrespect normalized everywhere – why would you sign up for that?

There’s this thing I call the “backup plan delusion” that so many women have. They ride the carousel in their 20s, have their fun, then think they’ll settle down with a nice guy in their 30s.

But here’s what they don’t understand: That nice guy they rejected at 23? He’s not waiting. He either found someone else who appreciated him – or he’s built a life where he doesn’t need them anymore. He’s got his money, his hobbies, his peace. Why would he trade that for someone who sees him as plan B?

And the financial aspect? Jesus Christ. Modern women want traditional provision with none of the traditional roles. They want you to pay for everything – but also do half the housework. Want you to be the breadwinner – but have no say in decisions. Want your money – but not your opinions.

It’s like hiring someone as CEO but telling them they can’t make any decisions. Who would accept that job?

I’ll never forget this consultation: Guy comes to me – successful entrepreneur, early 40s. His girlfriend of 2 years just left him. You know why? He suggested they split a vacation 50/50 – since she makes good money too.

She flipped out. Called him cheap. “A real man pays for everything.” This woman makes $90,000 a year. Drives a BMW. But suggesting she contributes financially made him “not a real man.”

This is the insanity we’re dealing with.

The social programming runs so deep that even men who see through it still struggle. We’re biologically wired to want to protect and provide. But protect and provide for what?

• For someone who posts on TikTok about how men are useless?
• For someone who has a roster of backups on her phone?
• For someone who sees you as an accessory to her lifestyle?

The juice isn’t worth the squeeze anymore. And men are finally realizing it.

You know what? Nobody talks about the peace that comes with male solitude:

• No drama, no arguments, no emotional roller coasters.
• You come home and it’s quiet.
• Your money is yours. Your time is yours. Your decisions are yours.
• Want to buy a motorcycle? Buy it.
• Want to invest in crypto? Do it.
• Want to spend the weekend playing video games? Nobody’s complaining.

This isn’t loneliness. It’s freedom.

So yeah – men are staying single for years, and women are to blame. Not all women, but enough women that it’s changed the entire game. And until women collectively admit this, nothing will change.

Men have already adapted. We’re fine being alone. The question is: Are you? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you’re not handling it well at all. And every year that passes, every birthday that goes by – your options shrink while ours expand.

That’s not revenge. That’s just reality. And reality, as they say, is undefeated.